André Strongbottle

By: Gustav Hoiland

Mar 11 2013

Category: studio

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Aperture:f/11
Focal Length:100mm
ISO:400
Shutter:2 sec
Camera:Canon EOS 5D Mark III
So. Frustrating.

After four forty-ounce bottles of beer, which each took about two drops to break, it was on to the two champagne bottles. These were all really test bottles, the intended trial run. They might have been just the beginning if they didn’t so masterfully rub my nose in my own preparatory failures.

I mean, c’mon André. Why you gotta do that to a kid. Sure, your burly physique may have saved countless bottles of yourself from untimely and traumatic demises, but still. I’ll admit I didn’t expect the drop-on-top to finish you off, but my setup just wasn’t rigged to capture horizontals.

For the record, that bottle of Asti broke on the first try, and it was the last of the day. Of the month. Hopefully I’ll do this all again before too long. Anybody willing to kick in $$$, lemme’ know. And if you can plunk down a $50,000 security deposit, then by god we’ll rent the best and shoot this in absurd Hasselbladian resolution.

Goodbye, sweet André.

(technical note – these bottles are all airborne because they’ve bounced off of that hunk of steel, which a microphone sensor registers and then triggers the strobes)

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